Listen up! What seems to be the problem with all you toe heads out there? It's like no one actually thinks about what they're doing....it's common f*@!ing sense! Repeat after me. TURN..... turn..... SIGNAL...... signal..... That's right. So does anyone know what that means...... anyone..... anyone. That's right, it is a signal to OTHERS that you are THINKING about turning. Contrary to popular belief, the signal light does not actually make the car turn.... let me explain.... I may be going too fast for some of you motor pool drop outs.

The other day I'm being driven to the airport. This gal is driving and wants to get into the left hand lane to pass.....she keeps looking nervously into her side view mirror.... then into her rear view mirror.... then back to the side view..... then she says, "This jerk isn't going to let me in!".... I say, "Is your signal light on, 'cause I doubt this guy is telepathetic like you!" She looks at me like I just shit on her lap. Oh well, no more sex from her.

LADIES and GENTLEMEN here is the proper procedure to using your signal lights:

1. If you know you want to make a lane change first thing you do BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE is turn on the appropriate signal light. This light is not a signal for you it is a signal for those around you....to let them know what is going on in your tiny little brain.
2. Now that your little light is flickering away warning everyone around you (who might be paying attention) that you are thinking about making a lane change, you may check the appropriate mirrors.... you may notice at this point that the cars around you have made a space.... this is common don't be alarmed!
3. Now, once space to do so is confirmed, you may proceed by carefully using your steering wheel to move your dumb ass into the lane that you wish to be in.
4. Turn off your signal light idiot!

It seems so simple yet it also seems to be beyond some peoples' comprehension...

The other big signal light NO NO comes from that self absorbed bastard who is stopped at a red light in the left hand lane and when the light turns green this pinhead turns on his left turn signal...there is only one way to deal with this kind of selfish prick but unfortunately our society looks down on putting the damaged out of their misery. I'm tellin' ya....it's time to stop recycling this kind of waste!

So just remember this little song...... This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine Let it shine let it shine let it shine

If you ain't pickin' up what I'ma puttin' down then get the hell offa my roads!!!!!

by rosie romoli